My Sons
You searched your heart for that one special gift for me; a gift
that would reveal how much you loved and valued me; that would speak to my
heart. As I turn the pages of the memory album you have given me, I want you to
know that I do understand you feel, Mom. I understand that during the days when
your life appeared in total confusion and despair, your heart remained
unstaggered on one course and that course was on loving me!
You repeatedly shouted to the world and to me…..’You were born on
a Tuesday and it was raining!’ You held strong in holding your love for me
within your heart and your precious memories of me within your soul, where I
once lay near.
You looked to me for a shoulder in the years when it seemed that
I was too big for yours….What I did not realize was that in you being my
Mother, you would quit “needing” my presence in your life but you would never
not “want” it in all the years to come.
I know that perhaps you will never always know what it is I may
need in my life but I will stand by and watch as you sometimes try to find it
for me…. each of us knowing that even though I am grown now, I do not always
know the answers within myself.
I did not know that there is a time in every Mother’s life when
the opinion of her Children are so precious and valued that she would turn to
them for what they think are the answers and what she knows are the feelings she
may base her decision and journey on.
Through the mistakes you feel you made in the years of being a
young Mother, you never truly forgave yourself for not always doing the right
thing. You could not have known then that you would use the pain of those
mistakes, valuable lessons learned and maturity from years gone by to become an
amazing Grandmother. Your happiness lay in wanting to carve precious memories in
the hearts of your Grandchildren with a love that equaled the strength of stone.
And as we gaze though the pictures of long ago, forgotten
memories return to our hearts. In sharing these moments, I know you now realize,
Mom that you will no longer need to hear that I understand. You have given me a
gift more valuable than monetary value; you have given me the memories and words
from your heart….. pasted on album pages once held in your hands. You have once
again placed your identity in my heart as “Mother”…. And as I look into your
eyes, I know that while creating this precious gift, you finally realize that I
have always known how much you love me and value me, I Love You, mom.
