On Angel's Wings

By Lori S. Anton

Ever since the telephone call two weeks earlier I had been tormented with worry. The previous year Gram Rose had been diagnosed with a rare type of blood and bone cancer.  Various hospitalizations and medical tests ensued, some of which sounded frightening.

On different occasions she'd had her pelvic and breast bones drilled in order to extract bone marrow - the benefit of anaesthesia withheld because it would have chemically altered samples taken.  An assortment of prescription drugs and chemotherapy followed.  She'd had a relapse and was back in the hospital.

This woman had been my childhood "guardian angel."  Frequent visits to her home provided respite from an abusive home situation that left emotional scars for many years.  Gram was the Christian influence in my young life, and the only adult I knew who genuinely loved me.  

Now, at the threshold of her deepest need I couldn't be there for her, and it was breaking my heart.  She lived in Maine, I in Kansas.  With limited funds, three small sons – ages 7, 6, and 2 years old, and 1,750 miles of separation, it seemed hopeless.

The following week was an emotional roller coaster.  Two more calls came in quick succession with the news, "It doesn't look good," before the dreaded, "Doctors say she probably won't make it through the night."  

Grief struck so deep: painful sobs tore at my insides, pushed up through my throat and erupted in inhuman sounds.  How could I bear losing this precious woman, wondering for the rest of my life whether her final moments had been fearful, or filled with peace.

That evening after the children were tucked into bed I knelt in prayer, seeking  to extract comfort in the knowledge that God understood my sorrow.  But grief overwhelmed me, instead.  Falling on my face, I wept miserably, "If only I knew for sure she was all right, Lord.  If only I knew she was ready and not afraid or in pain."

 Peace was immediate, and a warm flow of audible words I felt spread throughout my being, "Right now you have the faith...you could go to her, if you but asked."  

The tears on my face seemed to evaporate immediately.  I knew it was true.  At that very moment I did believe that if I asked, God would grant my heart's desire.  I rolled onto my back and took a deep breath.  Keeping my eyes closed I verbally acknowledged my faith, and said, "If it be Your will, please take me to her side so that I can know."

Immediately I felt a sense of movement as though rising.  I could see the shadowy outline of a form below me.  Next, a whirring, swishing sound and a gentle breeze; neither warm or cool, hot or cold.  I was aware of shadowed silhouettes of tree tops rushing past, beneath me.  I also had the sensation that I was not alone.  I felt supported by strong invisible arms.  

Suddenly, I stood before wide concrete steps that led to double doors.  The hospital!  As I moved forward, both doors opening simultaneously.  Stately, regal forms shrouded with a draped white that appeared to radiate light from within - translucent, but not - lined either side of the hall.  

I didn't see facial features, but the forms were unmistakably that of human shape. There were no shadows, no sense of mystery or mystique.  Everything was enveloped in a glow of light.  As I passed each form an arm raised in one fluid motion, and in perfect synchronization, to point the way.

I stood at a door.  A monitor beeped rhythmically.  On a single bed to the left lay a form.  A presence at my side wordlessly spoke peace that seemed to bathe the room. Instantly, knowledge filled me: the form on the bed was Gram Rose, the presence of God filled the room, and guardian angels stood constant watch.  

For the first time since she'd been diagnosed with cancer, I experienced perfect peace!  I knew that Gram wasn't filled with fear.

The next day disbelief tried to invade my thoughts.  Had it really happened, or had I only dreamed everything?  Since I doubted my "miracle," perhaps it hadn't truly been real.  After all, if angels had transported me to Gram's bedside, I would know without doubting, wouldn't I?

"God," I silently prayed, "Help me to accept the peace and assurance you gave me last night. Please don't let doubt rob me now."

Suddenly, I felt compelled to get my bible.  Picking it up, I opened it to a random location, and stood staring at the words before me, overwhelmed with joy.  

Staring back at me were the words, "Now behold, an angel of the Lord stood by him (Peter), and a light shone in the prison...and (Peter) did not know that what was done by the angel was real, but thought he was seeing a vision." (New King James Version, Acts 12: 7-9)


© Lori S. Anton